Why Is Mars Red

Mars is red because that is where men are from. Men like red, so Mars must be red. Men get red when they are angry or embarrassed or trying to hold back a fart in mixed company. Mars is red because it has such a thin atmosphere, which cannot hold the blue like the earth's atmosphere can. Mars is also red because of all of the rusted iron dust surrounding the planet and all the rusted iron on the planet.

Mars used to be a big iron rock and over time it has rusted. Rust never sleeps and it is better to burn out than it is to rust. Into the Mars and into the dust.

No, really, why is Mars red?

Mars is red because it is made up of thousands or even hundreds of Mars bars. The light traveling through the galaxy gets reflected and refracted and by the time it gets to earth it is red. Mars, when you are close to it, actually looks like spumoni.

Seriously, why is Mars red?

The ancient Roman god, Mars was a great hunter (and resident of Georgia) who was smeared with red blood. Mars had a gun rack on the back of his truck, drank lots of beer and liked to shoot off his guns on New Year's Eve. Mars was originally called the Redneck god, but over time, people just started saying, "Mars is red."

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